Dove Magazine

Today’s romance goes with finance

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A young, handsome (his words, not mine) man emailed me asking for help because, with all his good looks and youth, he cannot get himself a beautiful girl who takes him seriously. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

In Summary

  • Things were simpler then, as we were not too exposed to the ways of the world.
  • We were awed by a guy who could buy you a fake gold chain on the street.
  • The obvious advice to the young man would be to get a job, and if he cannot get one, start selling mandazis and perhaps one day he might own a bakery.

A young, handsome (his words, not mine) man emailed me asking for help because, with all his good looks and youth, he cannot get himself a beautiful girl who takes him seriously.

All the girls he falls in love with sneer at his advances. He reckons he has zeroed in on his disadvantage: he is jobless, and the ripple effect of joblessness includes being broke and having no girlfriend. He wants my help, and he wants to know whether I dated a broke man.

The nerve of the question! But, since I’m almost twice his age, my advice or experience might be a little outdated. In the ’90s when I started dating, he was probably still latched onto his mother’s breast.

Things were simpler then, as we were not too exposed to the ways of the world.

We were awed by a guy who could buy you a fake gold chain on the street.

The obvious advice to the young man would be to get a job, and if he cannot get one, start selling mandazis and perhaps one day he might own a bakery.

If he is right about his disadvantage, owning a bakery should attract the girls like maggots to a dead body.

NO RIGHT ANSWER

But to answer his question as to whether I ever dated a broke man, broke is relative; there is no right answer to that question. But I shall share an anecdote.

I was a little younger than the young man when I had my first proper date. My date took me to 20th Century Cinema.

Watching a movie on the big screen for the first time was probably the most exciting part of the date. He bought me a hotdog and a soda, which he fed me in the movie theatre, then we went for lunch at Wimpy, ate chips and burger and drank a milkshake – it was also my first time to have a burger and milkshake.

He bought me chocolate and we walked to Uhuru Park and sat for hours looking at the water and throwing stones. It was a perfect date. I smiled for a month after that date.

The differences between the dating trends then and now are as obvious as the difference between the soils of Limuru and Kajiado. In our days, a handsome man obviously had an advantage over his less good-looking friends, but he also needed to know how to talk to a girl.

Even better, if he could write a letter with words like “scholarstically yours”, it showed that he was quite brainy, and that, in itself, was a total turn-on.

Today’s young men, if the way they write on social media is anything to go by, cannot write to save their lives, let alone to get a girl. But who needs to know how to write if money will get the girls faster than any written or spoken word? Money has seen to the death of romance.

The days when you could get the cutest girl in college just by being handsome and having a  good command of the Queen’s language are fading very fast.

Taking a girl to Uhuru Park as entertainment will earn you the title of the college clown – college mates will giggle as you pass by  because the news of your Uhuru Park taste will have spread faster than some bush fire in California. Lack of money is as good as being mute.

Money talks – no longer do men have to practise their oral skills on the girls, no longer do they have to work on their handwriting.

Money is an aphrodisiac; let no one tell you otherwise. I am in no way insinuating that for there to be romance, money must exchange hands, but have you ever tried to have a romantic time when the bills are not paid? It is harder than convincing a politician to be honest. My argument however, is, you do not need money to be romantic.

It is well and good to fly to Nanyuki for lunch, any girl would be impressed by that, but taking a walk at the Arboretum, having a picnic, exploring nature, is a better turn on. However, it is better to have enough money to be able to make the choice between flying to Nanyuki for an expensive lunch and having a free picnic.

Have a pocket-friendly romantic day!

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